Dear English Gentleman:
How do you know you’re in love?
Thanks,
-Clueless
Dear Clueless:
I am afraid to say that I will have to give you the answer which I am quite sure you have heard many times before (and will hear many times hence), from any number of people. The answer is: you’ll know. You will just know. I speak from experience.
Having said that, I’ll try and be more expansive. Love is much more than some instinct. It is not something done out of habit. It’s not about self interest. And it’s not out of a fear of being single. Love is about respecting the identity of your partner whilst retaining your own identity. It’s about being happier with the other person than without. It’s about intimacy. It’s about commitment. It’s never dull. It’s about the passion of being with your partner (and not just in the bedroom!). There are no strings attached to love.
I’ll finish with a few simple tests you can try, just in case you are in doubt…
1. How long could you stare into your partner’s eyes for?
2. Do you forget all about your phone / Twitter / emails and the internet when you are with your partner?
3. How do you feel when your partner walks into a room?
You know what the answers will be, of course.
Readers: how do you know you’re in love? Help Clueless with a clue in your comments!
I know I’m in love when I can’t stop thinking about the other person. They’re the first thing I think of when I wake up and I can’t wait to see them.
One time, I was dating a guy and when he called I actually thought: “Geez, I really need to go do my laundry right now”. That’s when I figured I wasn’t really in love with him. LOL.
Good luck Clueless! I think the EG is right, you will sort of just know, you know?
I like this one from Dr. Seuss: “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
I think love is something you DO as opposed to something you feel. It is like tending a plant: something you do and grow and nurture every day. It is not the passionate, fluttery thing you feel when you have a crush on someone, but rather the tranquil, secure, and peaceful calm you get when you trust and can count on your partner and he can count on you.